Animal slavery
So a lot of people complain about slavery and how it is incredible that it still exists in some parts of the world even to this day. Slavery was abolished years ago and it shouln’t exist today. It’s just wrong. But you know who we still treat as slaves without even thinking or feeling guilty about it? Animals! Who cares about animals, right? You are down with animal slavery, and you want to let everybody know how you stand on this less than important issue. Well, now you can easily do that, just by buying this hysterical shirt.
Diversity Stole my bike!
We have come to times were everybody is sensitive about their heritage. There are some words noadays that we didn’t even now they couldn’t be said. Some of them are just not politically correct anymore. Minorities have made such great advances in human rights and they are accomplishing greater deeds than ever before. They are taking over major roles within our society and being more productive than ever.But somehow, they still manage to steal my fucking bike. You can’t say stuff they way you could before, so why not buy this funny shirt instead?
Slavery gets shit done!
A lot of bad things can be said about it, but did you know that actually, a boy born in slavery times was more likely to live with both his parents than he would be if he was born today? Yeah we could discuss human rights all you want, but for the greater good, there is something no one can argue about slavery. It gets shit done, period. And what better way to support that statement than wearing this shirt? It was actually made by slave kids in some third world country! Get this hilarious shirt now.
Fuck the Irish?
Let’s face it, there are worst ways to start a fight at the bar. But if you are going to celebrate Saint Patrick’s day or just visit your local pub and you want to get it on, this is a good way to do it! The Irish have had it good long enough. Why should girls fuck the Irish just cause they are Irish? What makes them so special? Who came up with that other shirt anyways? Probably some Irish guy. You know what? Fuck them, they are irish. Let them know with this funny shirt.
Who needs tits?
Feeling a little conscious about your look on the frontal department? Well, you shouldn’t be too worried if you have a booty to compensate. You just need some way to make them stare at your ass instead of staring at your lack of boobs. But don’t worry we have a plan for you. Just purchase this shirt and you will be able to direct all the looks and all the attention to your backside area. No need to be too modest, just let them go straight to the money and watch you walk away while you are sporting this funny but oh so true shirt.
Pants on the Ground!
Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground, pants on the ground, pants on the ground.
Does this song have any purpose other than to have a sausage party of guys with their pants off? Hmmm…sounds like a day in the life of a catholic priest.
Buy the pants on the ground shirt, but only take your pants down in front of the opposite sex!
Charlie Sheen Winning shirt
Sick of being a loser? Then maybe you should join another team? Tired of being on the bench? Tired of only hooking up with fat chicks? Then maybe you should be on Team Sheen, because Team Sheen is always winning.
It’s almost impossible to be a loser with this shirt on. You’re automatically the talk of the party when you walk in with your Team Sheen shirt.
If people think you’re a douche when you wear this shirt, then you’re totally out of luck, because it takes a legitimate douche to pull that off with this shirt. In that case, you’re always losing. Buy the Team Sheen shirt and always be WINNING!
Charlie Sheen Tigerblood shirt
You want Charlie Sheen Tigerblood? Then you may have to go kill a tiger on your own. That’s expensive because you need a plane ride to Africa. Or you need to break into a zoo.
Or you can do it the easy way and buy this Charlie Sheen Tigerblood tshirt.
This way is much safer, you won’t get your balls bit off by an angry tiger, and you won’t get speared by a tribal african.
Get to tiger blood training camp asap! Buy the TigerBlood Shirt now!
Funny shirt for girls
To all my sexy ladies out there, please buy this fucking classy shirt to show all the hoochie mama’s that you are indeed the shit, and you know this because your shirt says so.
To make matters better, those unclassy broads probably can’t even read and they probably smoke Marlboro’s, smell like crap, and wear their mom’s old perfume that stinks like hairspray and moth balls mixed like 5 day old soup with msg.
Classy women know how to pimp a ghetto fab shirt and make it look good.
Get yours now. And guys, if you see this shirt on the reg, then go for the girl who doesn’t have a hairy ass. Buy it!
I love to cuddle
Dear Ladies,
Do you love to cuddle? Do you love it when we stroke your hair? Do you love it when we smack that ass kiss you softly?
If so, then you should buy this for your man, to show the world that he’s all the lover you ever dreamed of. He’s everything all the ladies want, and more, like tacos and fantasy football on Sundays.
And guys – even if you hate to cuddle, at least wear this funny shirt to get laid! Boink!
Suicide watch tshirt
This shirt is pretty lame. Look at it. Guy eating popcorn while some other guy stands on a chair and contemplates offing himself.
Does he do it?
Does the guy refill popcorn?
Does the guy with popcorn kick the chair?
Does anyone give a rat’s dirty arse? Nope. Next shirt please! Or, buy tshirt if you care.
Sorry ladies, the shirt stays on
When you’re at the beach, drinking brews, and partying down with the ladies, this shirt is the instant peacocking weapon.
Not only does it tell the women that they’re not worthy of what’s under the hood, but it also makes them beg for it even more.
Make sure you parade around the bar, tugging on your shirt, whenever the song “This is why I’m hot” plays through the speakers.
I don’t guarantee this will get you laid, but hey – chicks like what they can’t have! I should know, I’m vagina magnet! Edit: he forgot to tell you they’re all ugly vaginas!
Stare at me in disgust!
Smile like you mean it!
I see you have dirty knees, that must be why you were staring at my friends with that disgusting face!
Hey, did you ever hear of a “I don’t really want to, but I’ll do it anyway” blowjob? It’s when a girl goes down on a guy because she has to in order to get to the homerun stage of having sex. How does that work? It works because she is probably ugly and hasn’t been laid in three months, so she has to use her pan face in order to get that wet willow wonked by a weiner!
Oh shut up. Just buy this damn funny shirt and hope that it actually works for you.
World champion slut hugger
Hey slut! Do you want a hug? Come to papa and get your hug. You know I’m the best mother hugger out there, right? I’ll hug just about anything!
You put a naked homeless guy in front of me, and I’ll hug him till he finds a job.
You put a dirty hooker in front of me, and I’ll hug her till my neighbors balls fall off.
You put a cat in front of me, I’ll hug it until every guy in Asia has at least a 4 inch penis!
Now buy this funny shirt and clarify yourself as a Slut Hugger! Free Hugs!
I support single moms
We don’t care if you have one kid or three kids. Or six kids with 5 different daddies.
If you can lose the weight and shake that ass, then we will give you a dollar.
If you’re still fat and your box stinks, then maybe you should quit being a stripper.
If you take Facebook thong pics with your baby crawling in the background, then you know you hit rock bottom.
Regardless, we like strippers. So here’s a dollar, just don’t snort coke with it!