Funny Shirts for guys and girls

I’ve had it up to here with midgets.

tshirtguy — Mon, 30 May 2011 23:04:07 +0000

They are small and have weird giant heads. They think they run the world. They think they are special. They think they can get away with anything just because of their small child like size. Well, they are wrong. And they better not mess with you or you will act on it. You’re tired of them. You can’t take much more from their zany antics and their cuteness overload. They always get all the attention. What do they think they are? You’ve had it up to here with midgets. Let them know, get this hilarious shirt.

OB/GYN Kenobi

tshirtguy — Mon, 23 May 2011 23:01:31 +0000

You are the man. You have a way with the ladies. They respond to your masculinity and your geeky awesomeness. You work your charm around them until they are willing to take you back to their place for some fun. And once they let you go downtown you are a motherfucking Jedi. They have even given you a nickname of how awesome you are at cunnilingus. And you made a shirt about it too. This is obviously not true, but if you buy this shirt, you can still tell the story and they will never know.

I shaved for this?

tshirtguy — Mon, 16 May 2011 22:57:51 +0000

If you are out in town for the night, looking for some fun and trying to get lucky, you have probably groomed and taken care of yourself. But let’s face it. You are not scoring with that hot chick at the bar anytime soon. You will probably be going back with the drunk, kinda not so ugly, first timer one night stand. She probably didn’t even shave her legs. You are going to be offended in the morning. Be ready and let her know what you feel by wearing this hysterical shirt.

Baseball

tshirtguy — Mon, 02 May 2011 22:30:52 +0000

Do you like sports? You will probably say yes, but you couldn’t even name one famous sport guy if you were at the sports hall of fame. Instead of trying to act cool, you should better poke a little fun at your dumb self and wear this shirt. Why? Cause its funny as hell and you better come to terms with your ignorance. That oval shaped pig leather ball? Yeah.. I think that one is for baseball. At least you’ll get a laugh instead of getting looks of amazement at your stupidity. Buy this funny shirt now and be done with it already.

Two horses in a man costume

tshirtguy — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:27:25 +0000

There is no better way to say it, so let’s just come out and say it. You are an idiot. It’s a fact of life and the quicker you accept it, the better is going to turn out for you in the long run. You are so incredibly stupid, you can even pass for two horses on a man suit. You are that stupid, don’t deny it. So because we know you were not going to be able to do it yourself, we have made this shirt for you. So everybody knows how dumb you are right away. Do the world a favor and just buy this hilarious shirt already.

Canadians

tshirtguy — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 22:21:45 +0000

Canda has given us a lot of great things. There is Canadian bacon for starters. Also hockey. But of course their biggest contribution yet to American culture is their funny accent for us to make fun of. And what better way to make the most of it and poke fun at them than with an ironic insult in their own accent? C’mon we all know Canadians are actually very good guys and they can take a joke. So next time you are visiting are country to the north, make sure you are wearing this funny shirt.

I hope I don’t black out.

tshirtguy — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 22:16:13 +0000

You are having a ball at the party. You have been enjoying all the drinking and the games and the guys and all the fun. But you know that after too much fun, you’re bound to black out and miss on a lot. Well, if your friends are eventually going to find you on the floor, passed out, probably covered in a little vomit and spilled beer, why not do in in style? Let them know that you were really not trying to reach that situation, but you were just having too much fun to quit. This is the shirt to do it.

Pancakes

tshirtguy — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 22:33:58 +0000

Hello girl. Yes I see you there in the corner staring at me. You are probably wondering how come I am all man. How can this fine specimen of a human be in this bar staring at me? Why is he penetrating my soul with his eyes? How can I use my womanhood to take care of all his desires? How can I satisfy even his most secret desires? And what will he rather have for breakfast in the morning? Make it a little easier for them poor gals and buy this shirt to let them know.

Swallows

tshirtguy — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 22:13:35 +0000

You are a slut and you know it. You want all men around you to know that you should be picked as the sluttiest, most easy girl wherever you are. But how to let them know with a little class? In a smart way but not so obvious way? Well, your best bet is to just buy this funny shirt and let them figure it out. There might be other skanky girls nearby, trying to give you some competition, but the upper hand always goes to the girl that “swallows”. And they will know that’s you, once you buy this hilarious shirt!

Talk Nerdy to Me.

tshirtguy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:10:50 +0000

Smart men are the ones that turn you on. If you like your lovers to be awkward, antisocial, smart but outcast, this shirt will help you make the call. It is a scream to all nerds around you, to let them know they are exactly your type. If computer lingo gets you off, this is the best way to let all geeky guys near you know the real truth about yourself. You know they wouldn’t even think about coming up to you and start a conversation, but they will once you have bought this awesome shirt.

Animal slavery

tshirtguy — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 22:10:41 +0000

So a lot of people complain about slavery and how it is incredible that it still exists in some parts of the world even to this day. Slavery was abolished years ago and it shouln’t exist today. It’s just wrong. But you know who we still treat as slaves without even thinking or feeling guilty about it? Animals! Who cares about animals, right? You are down with animal slavery, and you want to let everybody know how you stand on this less than important issue. Well, now you can easily do that, just by buying this hysterical shirt.

Diversity Stole my bike!

tshirtguy — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 22:08:01 +0000

We have come to times were everybody is sensitive about their heritage. There are some words noadays that we didn’t even now they couldn’t be said. Some of them are just not politically correct anymore. Minorities have made such great advances in human rights and they are accomplishing greater deeds than ever before. They are taking over major roles within our society and being more productive than ever.But somehow, they still manage to steal my fucking bike. You can’t say stuff they way you could before, so why not buy this funny shirt instead?

Slavery gets shit done!

tshirtguy — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 22:05:09 +0000

A lot of bad things can be said about it, but did you know that actually, a boy born in slavery times was more likely to live with both his parents than he would be if he was born today? Yeah we could discuss human rights all you want, but for the greater good, there is something no one can argue about slavery. It gets shit done, period. And what better way to support that statement than wearing this shirt? It was actually made by slave kids in some third world country! Get this hilarious shirt now.

Fuck the Irish?

tshirtguy — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 22:00:45 +0000

Let’s face it, there are worst ways to start a fight at the bar. But if you are going to celebrate Saint Patrick’s day or just visit your local pub and you want to get it on, this is a good way to do it! The Irish have had it good long enough. Why should girls fuck the Irish just cause they are Irish? What makes them so special? Who came up with that other shirt anyways? Probably some Irish guy. You know what? Fuck them, they are irish. Let them know with this funny shirt.

Who needs tits?

tshirtguy — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 21:55:15 +0000

Feeling a little conscious about your look on the frontal department? Well, you shouldn’t be too worried if you have a booty to compensate. You just need some way to make them stare at your ass instead of staring at your lack of boobs. But don’t worry we have a plan for you. Just purchase this shirt and you will be able to direct all the looks and all the attention to your backside area. No need to be too modest, just let them go straight to the money and watch you walk away while you are sporting this funny but oh so true shirt.

Pants on the Ground!

admin — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 01:44:28 +0000

Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground, pants on the ground, pants on the ground.

Does this song have any purpose other than to have a sausage party of guys with their pants off? Hmmm…sounds like a day in the life of a catholic priest.

Buy the pants on the ground shirt, but only take your pants down in front of the opposite sex!

Charlie Sheen Winning shirt

admin — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 01:39:30 +0000

Sick of being a loser? Then maybe you should join another team? Tired of being on the bench? Tired of only hooking up with fat chicks? Then maybe you should be on Team Sheen, because Team Sheen is always winning.

It’s almost impossible to be a loser with this shirt on. You’re automatically the talk of the party when you walk in with your Team Sheen shirt.

If people think you’re a douche when you wear this shirt, then you’re totally out of luck, because it takes a legitimate douche to pull that off with this shirt. In that case, you’re always losing. Buy the Team Sheen shirt and always be WINNING!

Charlie Sheen Tigerblood shirt

admin — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 01:36:05 +0000

You want Charlie Sheen Tigerblood? Then you may have to go kill a tiger on your own. That’s expensive because you need a plane ride to Africa. Or you need to break into a zoo.

Or you can do it the easy way and buy this Charlie Sheen Tigerblood tshirt.

This way is much safer, you won’t get your balls bit off by an angry tiger, and you won’t get speared by a tribal african.

Get to tiger blood training camp asap! Buy the TigerBlood Shirt now!

Funny shirt for girls

admin — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 01:16:32 +0000

To all my sexy ladies out there, please buy this fucking classy shirt to show all the hoochie mama’s that you are indeed the shit, and you know this because your shirt says so.

To make matters better, those unclassy broads probably can’t even read and they probably smoke Marlboro’s, smell like crap, and wear their mom’s old perfume that stinks like hairspray and moth balls mixed like 5 day old soup with msg.

Classy women know how to pimp a ghetto fab shirt and make it look good.

Get yours now. And guys, if you see this shirt on the reg, then go for the girl who doesn’t have a hairy ass. Buy it!

I love to cuddle

admin — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 01:02:47 +0000

Dear Ladies,

Do you love to cuddle? Do you love it when we stroke your hair? Do you love it when we ~~smack that ass~~ kiss you softly?

If so, then you should buy this for your man, to show the world that he’s all the lover you ever dreamed of. He’s everything all the ladies want, and more, like tacos and fantasy football on Sundays.

And guys – even if you hate to cuddle, at least wear this funny shirt to get laid! Boink!

Suicide watch tshirt

admin — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 00:59:38 +0000

This shirt is pretty lame. Look at it. Guy eating popcorn while some other guy stands on a chair and contemplates offing himself.

Does he do it?

Does the guy refill popcorn?

Does the guy with popcorn kick the chair?

Does anyone give a rat’s dirty arse? Nope. Next shirt please! Or, buy tshirt if you care.

Sorry ladies, the shirt stays on

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:29:26 +0000

When you’re at the beach, drinking brews, and partying down with the ladies, this shirt is the instant peacocking weapon.

Not only does it tell the women that they’re not worthy of what’s under the hood, but it also makes them beg for it even more.

Make sure you parade around the bar, tugging on your shirt, whenever the song “This is why I’m hot” plays through the speakers.

I don’t guarantee this will get you laid, but hey – chicks like what they can’t have! I should know, I’m vagina magnet! ~~Edit: he forgot to tell you they’re all ugly vaginas!~~

Stare at me in disgust!

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:21:15 +0000

Smile like you mean it!

I see you have dirty knees, that must be why you were staring at my friends with that disgusting face!

Hey, did you ever hear of a “I don’t really want to, but I’ll do it anyway” blowjob? It’s when a girl goes down on a guy because she has to in order to get to the homerun stage of having sex. How does that work? It works because she is probably ugly and hasn’t been laid in three months, so she has to use her pan face in order to get that wet willow wonked by a weiner!

Oh shut up. Just buy this damn funny shirt and hope that it actually works for you.

World champion slut hugger

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:13:49 +0000

Hey slut! Do you want a hug? Come to papa and get your hug. You know I’m the best mother hugger out there, right? I’ll hug just about anything!

You put a naked homeless guy in front of me, and I’ll hug him till he finds a job.

You put a dirty hooker in front of me, and I’ll hug her till my neighbors balls fall off.

You put a cat in front of me, I’ll hug it until every guy in Asia has at least a 4 inch penis!

Now buy this funny shirt and clarify yourself as a Slut Hugger! Free Hugs!

I support single moms

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:09:19 +0000

We don’t care if you have one kid or three kids. Or six kids with 5 different daddies.

If you can lose the weight and shake that ass, then we will give you a dollar.

If you’re still fat and your box stinks, then maybe you should quit being a stripper.

If you take Facebook thong pics with your baby crawling in the background, then you know you hit rock bottom.

Regardless, we like strippers. So here’s a dollar, just don’t snort coke with it!