I’ve had it up to here with midgets.
They are small and have weird giant heads. They think they run the world. They think they are special. They think they can get away with anything just because of their small child like size. Well, they are wrong. And they better not mess with you or you will act on it. You’re tired of them. You can’t take much more from their zany antics and their cuteness overload. They always get all the attention. What do they think they are? You’ve had it up to here with midgets. Let them know, get this hilarious shirt.
OB/GYN Kenobi
You are the man. You have a way with the ladies. They respond to your masculinity and your geeky awesomeness. You work your charm around them until they are willing to take you back to their place for some fun. And once they let you go downtown you are a motherfucking Jedi. They have even given you a nickname of how awesome you are at cunnilingus. And you made a shirt about it too. This is obviously not true, but if you buy this shirt, you can still tell the story and they will never know.
I shaved for this?
If you are out in town for the night, looking for some fun and trying to get lucky, you have probably groomed and taken care of yourself. But let’s face it. You are not scoring with that hot chick at the bar anytime soon. You will probably be going back with the drunk, kinda not so ugly, first timer one night stand. She probably didn’t even shave her legs. You are going to be offended in the morning. Be ready and let her know what you feel by wearing this hysterical shirt.
Baseball
Do you like sports? You will probably say yes, but you couldn’t even name one famous sport guy if you were at the sports hall of fame. Instead of trying to act cool, you should better poke a little fun at your dumb self and wear this shirt. Why? Cause its funny as hell and you better come to terms with your ignorance. That oval shaped pig leather ball? Yeah.. I think that one is for baseball. At least you’ll get a laugh instead of getting looks of amazement at your stupidity. Buy this funny shirt now and be done with it already.
Two horses in a man costume
There is no better way to say it, so let’s just come out and say it. You are an idiot. It’s a fact of life and the quicker you accept it, the better is going to turn out for you in the long run. You are so incredibly stupid, you can even pass for two horses on a man suit. You are that stupid, don’t deny it. So because we know you were not going to be able to do it yourself, we have made this shirt for you. So everybody knows how dumb you are right away. Do the world a favor and just buy this hilarious shirt already.
Canadians
Canda has given us a lot of great things. There is Canadian bacon for starters. Also hockey. But of course their biggest contribution yet to American culture is their funny accent for us to make fun of. And what better way to make the most of it and poke fun at them than with an ironic insult in their own accent? C’mon we all know Canadians are actually very good guys and they can take a joke. So next time you are visiting are country to the north, make sure you are wearing this funny shirt.
I hope I don’t black out.
You are having a ball at the party. You have been enjoying all the drinking and the games and the guys and all the fun. But you know that after too much fun, you’re bound to black out and miss on a lot. Well, if your friends are eventually going to find you on the floor, passed out, probably covered in a little vomit and spilled beer, why not do in in style? Let them know that you were really not trying to reach that situation, but you were just having too much fun to quit. This is the shirt to do it.
Pancakes
Hello girl. Yes I see you there in the corner staring at me. You are probably wondering how come I am all man. How can this fine specimen of a human be in this bar staring at me? Why is he penetrating my soul with his eyes? How can I use my womanhood to take care of all his desires? How can I satisfy even his most secret desires? And what will he rather have for breakfast in the morning? Make it a little easier for them poor gals and buy this shirt to let them know.
Swallows
You are a slut and you know it. You want all men around you to know that you should be picked as the sluttiest, most easy girl wherever you are. But how to let them know with a little class? In a smart way but not so obvious way? Well, your best bet is to just buy this funny shirt and let them figure it out. There might be other skanky girls nearby, trying to give you some competition, but the upper hand always goes to the girl that “swallows”. And they will know that’s you, once you buy this hilarious shirt!
Talk Nerdy to Me.
Smart men are the ones that turn you on. If you like your lovers to be awkward, antisocial, smart but outcast, this shirt will help you make the call. It is a scream to all nerds around you, to let them know they are exactly your type. If computer lingo gets you off, this is the best way to let all geeky guys near you know the real truth about yourself. You know they wouldn’t even think about coming up to you and start a conversation, but they will once you have bought this awesome shirt.
Animal slavery
So a lot of people complain about slavery and how it is incredible that it still exists in some parts of the world even to this day. Slavery was abolished years ago and it shouln’t exist today. It’s just wrong. But you know who we still treat as slaves without even thinking or feeling guilty about it? Animals! Who cares about animals, right? You are down with animal slavery, and you want to let everybody know how you stand on this less than important issue. Well, now you can easily do that, just by buying this hysterical shirt.
Diversity Stole my bike!
We have come to times were everybody is sensitive about their heritage. There are some words noadays that we didn’t even now they couldn’t be said. Some of them are just not politically correct anymore. Minorities have made such great advances in human rights and they are accomplishing greater deeds than ever before. They are taking over major roles within our society and being more productive than ever.But somehow, they still manage to steal my fucking bike. You can’t say stuff they way you could before, so why not buy this funny shirt instead?
Fuck the Irish?
Let’s face it, there are worst ways to start a fight at the bar. But if you are going to celebrate Saint Patrick’s day or just visit your local pub and you want to get it on, this is a good way to do it! The Irish have had it good long enough. Why should girls fuck the Irish just cause they are Irish? What makes them so special? Who came up with that other shirt anyways? Probably some Irish guy. You know what? Fuck them, they are irish. Let them know with this funny shirt.
Who needs tits?
Feeling a little conscious about your look on the frontal department? Well, you shouldn’t be too worried if you have a booty to compensate. You just need some way to make them stare at your ass instead of staring at your lack of boobs. But don’t worry we have a plan for you. Just purchase this shirt and you will be able to direct all the looks and all the attention to your backside area. No need to be too modest, just let them go straight to the money and watch you walk away while you are sporting this funny but oh so true shirt.